


Well, at least they don't know it's me

by Coal_burningbright



Series: There is so much more inside me now [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Awesome Michelle Jones, Clint Barton is a Little Shit, Comic Book Science, Crack, Dead Aunt May, Deaf Clint Barton, Emotionally by his friends but like, Field Trip, Flash Thompson Redemption, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, I wrote a field trip fic, If you haven't stopped reading the tags yet you're my hero, It still Hurts, Little bit of angst, MJ Is A Little Shit, Michelle Jones is a Little Shit, Nonbinary Michelle Jones, Peter Parker is Stark Tower's Cryptid, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Cryptid, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter is the local Cryptid, She doesnt get paid enough for this, That poor tour guide tho, They should really pay the tour guide more, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trans Peter Parker, hehe, idk - Freeform, it's okay he'll get really into it in a few chapters, let's make that a tag, or robots?, she didn't sign up to deal with this, tony stark is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25295398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coal_burningbright/pseuds/Coal_burningbright
Summary: Peter Parker is going on a field trip to Stark tower, what could go wrong?He also happens to be the tower's cryptid. Oh, and no one knows Tony is his dad.You don't have to read the first one to enjoy this
Series: There is so much more inside me now [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767748
Comments: 250
Kudos: 1047





	1. I don't know where we're going but I don't like field trips

**Author's Note:**

> So last fic had Tony being revealed as Peter's biodad. MJ is nb and Peter is trans. Mj a local cryptid. Peter has some trauma but don't we all.  
> This fic will have it all and more!

Peter stared at his permission slip, he didn't even know where they were going but he had a bad feeling about this. “Dad?” He called.

“Peter?” Tony called back. “Take an apple if you need a snack.”

“I have something for you to sign.” Peter heard something crash and then Tony was there, slightly out of breath. 

“Did you get in trouble? I told you to not get in trouble! It’s only the end of your first month. I told you to wait at least **_three_** months before you got caught. Who do I have to sue?”

“Dad! No! I’m just going on a field trip in a week.”

“Oh, where?” Tony said. Peter thought he detected something odd in his tone but brushed it aside. 

“They won’t tell us, I’m in the top thirty kids so I get to go! Ned and MJ are also coming so if worst comes to worst we can joke around.”

“Well, I’m sure everything will go great.” Tony signed the paper Anton Karst with a flourish and handed it back to Peter. “Make sure you behave on the trip, wouldn’t want you in trouble again.” (He didn’t want the truth of Peter’s parentage getting out so they made a false identity- Anton Karst- one of the worst fake names Peter had heard but no less bad than Ant Star)

“Dad! I was never in trouble.”

“Mmm.”

Peter went off to do his homework, biting into the apple whilst absently shoving the paper into his bag.

*******

**Six days later**

“Guess what Pete!” 

“What?” Peter responded lazily. He was hanging down the back of the couch and looking at his dad.

“All of the Avengers have cleared their schedules tomorrow to Monday so we can all hang out this weekend. Pity you can’t skip school tomorrow but,” Here Tony turned around for some reason, “you have a field trip.”

“Yeah, but we’ll probably just go to Ozcorp or something. You don’t want me to go there!” Peter turned on his best puppy dog eyes, “I got bit by a spider there, and they  _ are  _ your nemesis.”

“Nice try kid but you can’t skip school. I’m sure wherever you go you will learn a lot.”

“It’s a school field trip but go off I guess.”

*******

He should have known. He should have just said his leg hurt too much. He should have known better than to go on a field trip. Everything had gone okay in the beginning- sure Flash was on the field trip but he had just sneered at Peter- probably because his friends weren’t there. Peter had joked with his friends on the bus ride and they had played games. But now. Now they had pulled up to the building. Peter heard Mr. Harrington's words from within a daze, “We are very lucky to be going on a field trip to see Stark Tower!” He registered MJ’s snickers and Ned’s gasp. Any other day he probably would have found it funny that Ned looked like a surprised Pichachu but not today. Peter slumped down in his seat, defeated. 

“So this is why Tony kept snickering, I thought he had just done something to Clint’s new arrows again.” Peter sighed.

MJ was trying not to cackle.

Ned was poking Peter excitedly as though he had not just heard where they were.

And Flash, Flash was looking- nervous? Huh. Peter resolved to keep an eye on him. 

“-in an orderly manner. You already know lunch will be provided.” Peter turned back into Mr. Harrington to catch that right in time to start standing up and exiting with everyone else. 

*******

“I have badges for everyone! Your badges will all be 1S or silver.” Here the Tour Guide held up a badge. It was silver with a big one in the middle. “Because this is such a low level badge you get to keep it. After today it won’t work here and even when here you can only go places I allow with my 3B badge or someone with a higher badge allows.” 

Peter shared a glance with his friends. All three of them had badges considerably higher than 3B. MJ and Ned having 9D badges would be suspicious enough already- let alone the fact he had a Ruler badge. 

“What do the badges mean?” Abe asked. Peter cursed his luck, why did his classmates have to be so smart.

“Well there are ten official levels of badges and each has five subsets. Copper, Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Diamond. They are abbreviated to C, B, S, G, or D of course for efficiency. Some levels of badges make sense like 4D consumer research whilst others are more,” Here she paused, “Eccentric.”

“What’s an example of an eccentric one!” Several students asked excitedly.

The tour guide- her name tag said Delia- sighed. “I’ll give you some of the highlights. 1B is for Pets who are brought to work- it happened one year and became a tradition. 2D only exists so if both Barton and Bishop (Hawkeyes) are here on the same day their badges go down to this. 3 is for people who work with foods so 3S is given to chemists who annoy boss man. I’ll take one more question before I hand these out, yes, you.”

“What did you mean ten  _ official _ levels?”

“The eleventh level is for ‘Rulers’ and it is only given to Tony Stark and our towers cryptid.”

“Cryptid?” MJ nudged Peter. “I didn’t know you were part of our local chapter.”

“It’s a long story.” he whispered back.


	2. A brief interlude on SI and their resident Cryptid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Peter became the resident cryptid

If you ask any SI employee about The Boy their eyes will go wide. Some will start talking quick as can be, others will back away slowly. If you get a talker they’ll tell you one of two things. The first is that The Boy doesn’t exist. He’s a figment of the interns imagination they’ll say, glancing around warely. They’ll tell you that He’s a product of long days and interns powered by coffee. The second thing they’ll tell you is don’t mess with Him. They’ll tell about how The Boy seems to be able to go anywhere in the tower. They’ll tell you the stories too.

In all fairness Peter hadn’t meant for this to happen. 

The first time he went down to floor five it was because Tony wouldn’t let him have a donut. He went down to floor five which is where the interns were working. He just went into one of the rooms, and then he saw someone had done an equation wrong. He asked them if he could try and they said yes. He had fixed it, grabbed a donut, and went back upstairs. 

The intern will tell you of how Joseph was working on an equation that no one had been able to solve, they’ll tell you that he prayed to any God that would listen and asked them to  _ Please Help _ . They’ll tell you about how immediately after The Boy walked into the room and came straight up to Joseph, The Boy said “Let me help.” and Joseph agreed because it couldn’t get worse than it already was. In less than a minute The Boy had solved it. He only stopped for a minute to grab a donut. His last words were “I’ll take this as my payment.” After that some people started leaving offerings of donuts next to their work.

The second time happened about a week later. Peter was working on a project when he realized he was out of a solution that he needed to make his new webs. 

“Jarvis? Where is the  hydrogen peroxide? ” 

“I believe some is in storage lab 5xe, would you like me to order it?” 

“No that’s okay.” Peter replied. “I could use some time to stretch my legs.”

Peter ran down to lab 5xe, he assumed no one would be in it because it was a storage lab and the day was Saturday so he was running above what a normal human could but other than that he was just enjoying himself. He waved his badge at the scanner and ran in and halfway up the far wall doing a flip, only then did he notice the interns staring at him. With a sheepish grin he tapped a random bottle like ‘well, what can you do’ and then grabbed the hydrogen peroxide that was conveniently on the table with a label that said ‘For The Boy’ he was only a little annoyed that Jarvis had got them to take it out. Then he went back up and didn’t think about it again. 

The intern will tell you about how people had dismissed The Boy after a while. Joseph had been working for 72 hours straight at the time and had probably solved it and forgot. Then 5xe happened. Ellie, Kyle, and Franklin were working on making a machine that purifies water more efficiently with less impact on the environment. They had gotten stuck on what to use though and were just goofing around in storage lab 5xe (lovingly called fivexe (fiv-ex-ee)) and bemoaning their troubles when Ellie had suggested calling on The Boy for guidance and they all laughed. They had nothing better to do though so they chanted the words “The Boy” three times each in a ceremonial manner and set up a table with an offering. Kyle had made a note that said ‘For The Boy’ but after a few minutes the three of them moved on to the next time killer. They had known it probably wouldn’t work but honestly at that point they were ready to throw a random chemical in and call it a day. 

Then The Boy ran in. He was running too fast to be human and he ran all the way across the room to do a flip off of the wall and land on his feet. His badge wasn’t one anyone had- White with no detailing- and for a minute it had seemed like time stood still. Then The Boy had smiled at them in a way that held no malice, but no kindness either. He had brown hair and pale skin. Then He tapped on a chemical with such authority and took the bottle they had put out as an offering. The chemical turned out to be what they were searching for all that time, though they hadn’t known it. From then on more people believed in Him. 

The third time was Tony’s fault. Tony Stark made sure that he listened to the tower gossip. He knew who had gone through a bad breakup, who needed to go the fuck to bed, who was in danger of losing their home. He did this because then he could make sure that someone *Anonymously* donated to them- just because you pay all your employees a living wage doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give them a little extra. What Tony didn’t expect to hear one Monday morning was that the tower had been blessed by a cryptid known only as The Boy. He soon put the pieces together however and realized two things. 1. This might be the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and 2. Peter didn’t know. He then began shamelessly  _ Plotting _ .

“Hey Peter,” Tony said one day after he was home from school. “Want to help me test a new product?”

“Sure.” Peter didn't have anything else to do that day and it was always fun to help Tony out. 

“I need you to go to lab 537, enter through the back window when no one is looking, not talk to anyone, solve the problem on the board, grab the bowl of food on the white table, and come back upstairs by disappearing in a cloud of smoke.” Tony had been hard at work spreading rumors that The Boy accepted offers in the forms of white bowls of homemade food and scoping out the best labs to target. “You got all that?”

“Yeah Dad, that’s only like five steps.” 

“Good, I've been trying to prove the smoke bombs work but this will be the perfect test.”

The group in lab 537 had been making solar panels and having trouble, the intern will tell you. They followed the steps the rumors had said to do in order for The Boy to come. The intern will also tell you that no one knows who started those rumors. They wrote the equation on the board, and put a white bowl of cookies in front of it, and waited. The intern will tell you that no one knows how it happened, one moment the boy just appeared. He didn’t come through the door and the windows were five stories up with no helpful ledges. The boy appeared and made a beeline to the board, the intern will tell you. He solved the equation, and then walked towards the white bowl. Amariana tried to talk to Him but He didn’t respond, only grabbed the bowl. The intern will get quiet here, they’ll tell you that a cloud of smoke erupted around The Boy and that, by the time it dissipated, He was gone. 

Peter learned what was going on the fifth time Tony asked him to help ‘Test’ something. He would have figured it out sooner if not for Tony. By then the rumors (several started by Tony) had gotten out of hand. According to some was a ghost who died underneath the tower. Others claimed that he had died from being overworked and now helped so no one else would suffer his fate, another popular theory was that he was spawned by an experiment gone wrong, Peter’s favorite was that he doesn’t exist. No matter what people believed though they always spoke of The Boy in hushed tones, Tony thought it was hilarious and had even made an announcement that as the cryptid had been wearing a badge that badge was now a ruler badge. Peter glared at him for a day after because ‘ _ Did you  _ **_really_ ** _ need to do that Dad?’  _

However it had started the rumor wasn’t going away anytime soon. Peter had learned to accept it and he kept an eye out for people he could help. The offerings didn’t hurt. 

If you ask about The Boy the interns will tell you the stories in hushed tones. Many of the interns had been, or knew someone who had been, helped by The Boy. He was good luck wherever He came from they agreed. 


	3. In which Peter regrets his life choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MJ plots and the tour guide is suspicious™ of Peter

Peter attempted to convey as much of that story as possible to MJ, who looked  **much** too gleeful about it in his opinion, in whispers and facial expressions. 

“Now if you will follow me this way you can enter Stark Tower officially- just walk through this scanner and Friday- one of the towers AIs- will make sure that you don’t have any prohibited items. I will also take this time to remind you that photos are only allowed in specifically designated areas and anyone breaking this rule will have the offending device confiscated.” Delia recited, gesturing to the line of what looked like metal detectors. “Grab your badges when I call your name and then follow me.” 

Oh no, Happy’s no reprint policy meant that Peter wouldn’t receive a badge. He just hoped no one would notice. 

Unbeknownst to Peter, MJ was plotting. They had started to form the idea while Peter worried over the reprint policy and it had turned into a plot somewhere around the point where they hoped this was legal. 

Delia called out the twenty-seven people who needed to get their badges, luckily Peter thought, no one seemed to notice that neither he nor his friends had been called. He lined up with the rest of the kids and watched as Delia demonstrated how to go through by pressing her badge to the reader and then walking through the machine. He went through in the middle of the group and thankfully none of his classmates commented on his badge. Flash’s eyes went wide though and Peter almost felt bad for him. 

“Now we will be heading up to floor three first to see some of the more bureaucratic work- this doesn’t mean this will be boring- our lawyers live interesting lives as I’m sure you’ll find out.” Delia announced as she brought the group over to the large elevator. On the ride up Peter noticed MJ whispering to the other kids but when he moved over to ask them about it they simply fixed him with a blank stare and told him they were spreading awareness about the fact all the people in costumes you see at Disney are actually part dwarf and you shouldn’t support slave labor. He decided not to push. 

MJ had saved blackmail on most of their classmates and teachers in case something bad happened, but this trumped that. Once they had learned Peter was a cryptid all bets were off. Now to put the plan into action.

*******

They were listening to the lawyers- okay that’s not true. About half the class was listening to the lawyers when it happened. Peter had noticed kids going over to Delia for the last half an hour or so but brushed it off, they might have questions or be asking for internships, or to use the bathroom. Now though, Delia was looking at him suspiciously- was this some plot by his classmates to get him in trouble? Had they told her that they didn’t believe he had an internship? He thought that had all been sorted out when he had brought in official papers, Ned and MJ had internships too? Though really MJ was training under Pepper Potts and Ned under Daisy Johnson so it wasn’t like they were normal internships. Still, Peter couldn’t think of anything else that could be going on. 

Delia was a little surprised when she was told that a couple of the students for her tour were interns and had their own badges but she brushed it off. Midtown was a smart school and so it made sense that in the top thirty kids there would be a few Stark Interns. Then students began coming up to her and saying that Peter shouldn’t have a badge as he didn’t work here. One of the kids who was an intern came up to her and said he had never seen Peter around. She resolved to keep a closer eye on Peter, just in case. She also texted her friend Indira to ask her to check the files for anyone named Peter Parker. 

There wasn’t.

Peter Parker did not work at Stark Industries. All of his classmates confirmed he had a job interning at Leverage Incorporated. So how did he have a badge? 

The final straw was when Peter’s friend, Delia thinks their name is MJ, tells Delia in a whisper that Peter said he was going to stay home today. ‘I don’t think that’s Peter Parker’ they had whispered. Delia was prepared to brush this off as a prank though, so she gathered up the group and brought them to floor four. In an hour they could all have a lunch break and get this out of their systems. 

Peter realized what was going on when he heard a rustling in the vents, he felt his soul leave his body as he remembered that morning- when his dad had said ““All of the Avengers have cleared their schedules tomorrow to Monday so we can all hang out this weekend. Pity you can’t skip school tomorrow but, you have a field trip.” Tony had known and invited the others over, that was the only reasonable explanation. Peter was going to kill him- if he came out of this alive that is. He backed into the corner of the room and jumped up, tapping the ceiling near where Clint was. As a rule Clint tended to have his hearing aids turned off when he was in the vent so they had made a system of tapping on the vent as a little ‘I know you’re there birdbrain.’ For a minute Peter wondered if he was just hearing things, then, with a crash, Hawkeye fell out of the vents and onto the floor in the front of the room. 

Delia had been keeping half an eye on the boy who may or may not be Peter Parker when he jumped and touched the ceiling. This would have just been a normal amount of odd if not for the fact the ceiling was eight feet high, and the boy, by her best estimates, was just over 5 and a half feet. He jumped with grace too, almost seeming to float. Then a crash echoed through the room and Clint Barton jumped down from the ceiling. 

“Don’t worry class.” Delia stated as she glared at the Hawkeye, “This is a perfectly normal sight around Stark Industries.” She watched as Hawkeye surreptitiously turned on his hearing aids. “When we reach floor four you can ask Mr. Barton questions.” She was forming a hypothesis around the person who may or may not be Peter Parker. 

*******

“Mr Hawkeye-” 

“Hawkeye sir-”

“Will you sign my-”

Everyone clamored to be heard as they entered the interview room on the fourth floor. “We  **_were_ ** going to do an experiment in the labs before the interviews but as  **_someone_ ** interrupted we will do it now.” Delia shouted over the din. “Everyone please sit down and Mr. Barton will call on  **_no more than ten kids for questions_ ** . Understood? Good.” When Delia had signed up for her job she had to attend a several hour long training session to learn how to handle each Avenger who might lurk around the tower. “You may begin.”

Immediately she watched as almost all the class save for The boy who may or- you know what that was too long a title. She watched as everyone except Maybe Peter Parker raised their hands. 

“Yes you there.”

“The tour guide said that if both Hawkeyes are in the tower at the same time your badges change, I didn’t know there was another Hawkeye- who is he.” Delia covered a grin. She was glad Kate wasn’t here to hear this.

“ **She** is on the west coast right now along with my dog.” The Hawkeye currently in the room pouted, “She took over for me for a while when I was, indisposed, and I let her keep the name. She’s a real ace with the bow and arrow.”

“What’s the scariest monster you’ve had to fight?”

“One time I almost ran into the tower’s cryptid. They say he can take the form of people you know and that while he helps interns with their work he can be deadly.” Was it Delia’s imagination or did Barton’s eyes flick over to Maybe Parker.

“Cryptid?!”

“It’s a long story-” As Hawkeye explained how he seemed to be summoned by his name and how offerings were best made in the form of food Delia wondered about her suspicions. 

MJ was elated. Not that they’d betray that to the class of course but this plan had to be their best yet. It was a stroke of genius really to text Nat the details. They knew the Avengers had been planning to show up at lunch time and that was the icing on this beautiful cake. They could practically  _ feel _ the tour guide questioning if Peter was who he said he was and it was  _ delightful _ . 

Peter Parker regretted every life choice that had brought him here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehe I have so much planned  
> rip peter


	4. In which Peter gets on Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter joins in the fun and every redhead is a little shit.

They were heading to lunch now because  _ someone _ had used up the whole hour answering questions. Yeah, it was a distinct possibility that a lot of the anger that Peter felt for Clint was because he had referred to Spider-man as ‘Arachnid-boy’ in the interview, but that was neither here nor there. The point was that now they were heading to the cafeteria and his  peter-tingle Spider-sense was buzzing, ever so slightly. As they entered the wide expanse Peter saw his classmates eyes widen. It was an impressive sight. Rows of family owned restaurants stretched out for half a floor. Tony let start-ups borrow money and not have to pay it back so they could open up a location in the tower- he just made sure that they gave free food to everyone with a blue circle on the top left of their badges. Peter always loved seeing the nice things Mr. Stark had done. He enjoyed looking around this floor because of all the colors too. He looked around it one more time, taking in the sights and smells. Then he saw them, Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Potts were walking straight towards his group. Peter now knew why his Spidey-sense had been tingling.

Delia didn’t seem to notice as she announced, “Everyone has a free meal on their cards, we have all kinds of food here so look around before you decide on a meal.” 

Peter started heading towards the Brazillian place he liked, hoping that he could get Nat and Pepper to follow him _away_ from the group. No such luck he sighed as they continued ambeling around. 

He got in line and ordered his Acarajé and Tacacá, for dessert he grabbed some Brigadeiros. After he paid- his badge didn’t give him free meals but instead paid the restaurants extra- he turned around to start heading back to the table when he saw Nat and Pepper talking to Delia? What would they want with his tour guide? 

Delia had only had her suspicions furthered when Maybe Parker had, not a normal badge, but a pure white one. Only one being had a pure white badge and that was The Boy. Tony Stark had made a big show of holding it up and The Boy had dropped from the ceiling- a good thirty feet above the stage, and grabbed the badge before jumping to the wall and then jumping from wall to wall up and out the skylight. To be honest a lot of people had brushed that off as a mass hallucination. Then Delia saw Natasha Romanoff and Pepper Potts walking towards her. 

“We need to talk to you about a, um, situation.”

“ **_OhmygodyouarethePepperPotts_ ** .”

**_The Pepper Potts_ ** thankfully decided to ignore that comment, continuing “We want to do a Q and A for the kids after they tour the labs and do the activities. You’ll need to factor that into your tour.”

“Of Course. Yeah. I can do that.”

“Good.”

With that the two walked towards the exit and then stopped. They walked over to Maybe Cryptid and  **_The Actual Black Widow_ ** looked at Maybe Cryptid before they both left.

Peter was dying. Nat and Pepper had come up to him, stared, and then Pep had gone “That does look like The Boy, you’re right”, before they both left him to his misery. Now his classmates were all looking at him suspiciously except MJ, who he was pretty sure was drawing him in their notebook. 

He sighed- it seemed like everyone was in on this except him. Then he had a thought. He thought, maybe he didn’t have to be the one sitting on the outside. 

*******

“...and here are our labs where the interns work and where you’ll be doing a competition today.”

Peter was excited. He had a plan now and nothing was going to get in his way- unless MJ took it onto themselves to stop him. Then the plan would fail. But exempting that things would go smoothly.

“In this competition you’ll all work in groups of four to build a robot that can build a model of a house- please make your groups.”

Peter, Ned, and MJ circled up. “Who should we pick as our forth?” Ned asked. 

“We could ask just if the three of us can do it.” Peter reasoned. “MJ is certainly scary enough to convince Delia.”

“Or maybe I could join your group?” The three of them turned to see _ Flash? _ Peter was surprised to see Flash so uncertain.

“Why do you want to join  _ us _ ? You hate us.”

“No, I don’t. And besides you want  _ me _ on your team. I’m the best at architecture in the school.”

“Great job both shattering these losers' worlds while placing yourself on top of it.” MJ said dryly. “Can you give us any other reasons we should accept someone who’s bullied some of us to work with us?”

“Well, I’ve been trying to figure out how to apologize.” Flash began, “I was acting out because of some stuff I have going on and you guys didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of it.”

Peter registered MJ sniffing like  _ they _ would never get bullied but Peter was mostly focused on his own feelings. How could Flash say he had gone through some hard stuff? Peter would be kept awake by creaks at night because of something he should be over. He knew his therapist said it was natural but it had been  _ months _ and he still felt broken. He knew that not everyone processed trauma the same and he shouldn’t judge Flash but it stung that someone could do those things as a way of acting out and not consider  _ his  _ home life. “You can join us.” He heard his voice saying. “But one foot out of line..” his voice let it hang there. 

“Thanks, and I really am sorry.” 

Peter wanted to scream. Where had this kindness been when he was at Skip’s? Why did everything come together only now, when he was okay? 

“Well, let’s get to work then.”

The four of them set to work building the robot and Peter was surprised to find that they fell into an easy rhythm. Flash drew up the specs for the house, ‘to make it eco-friendly’ he had said, while Peter built the bot and Ned programmed it. MJ made sure everything was going smoothly and designed artwork to make the robot stand out- they had many strengths and if this was a debate they would have been the winner, but tech had never been their strong suit in the same way it was Ned and Peter’s.

They had worked on Jimothin for almost two hours and the competition would start soon. He was beautiful. A robot that looked to be a square about 1’ by 1’ but would expand to six feet tall and had the ability to 3D-Print metal and wood. He shouldn’t be possible but Peter figured why not show them his best work? After all he was The Boy. 

“You have FIVE MINUTES! Plan accordingly, the bots need to be ON THE TABLE before the five minutes are up or you will be DISQUALIFIED.” Peter smiled, he had designed the robot to be heavy on purpose. 

“Guys, I’m going to go get a drink- can you get Jimothin on the table? If you can’t just ask Delia!” MJ fixed Peter with a ‘I know what you’re doing look’ but let him go before trying to pick Jimothin up. 

“Guys, this thing is heavy.” MJ said, beckoning Ned and Flash to come over. Even with the added help they couldn’t get Jimothin up. “Hey Delia, could you help us?” Delia walked over and also failed to lift him. Peter figured this was his time to step in.

“Sorry guys, I can do it.” He easily grabbed the block of metal and put him on the table.” Flash and Delia starred in surprise while Ned looked annoyed and Mj, MJ was doing their best impression of a surprised Pichachu face while looking slightly amused. 

Delia knew this was The Boy. Wherever Peter Parker was, it wasn’t here. 

“Isn’t the competition supposed to start in a minute?.” Peter reminded Delia.

“Oh yeah, okay everyone we’ll have everyone go in alphabetical order.”

When Peter was called he was confident they would win. The most impressive robot he had seen could barely put together the wood Abe had put in front of it. Peter grabbed Jimothin easily and placed him in the ring. Ned pressed the button and Jimothin got to work. Expanding to his full height of six feet. Peter fed the materials into the back as Jimothin deconstructed them and then reconstructed them as a beautiful house. For the final touch Peter pushed the button to open the paint cans and everyone watched as MJ’s art of Peter looking mortified was painted on each wall of the house. 

“Well I think we have a winner.” Delia said before apparently remembering that there were two more groups to go. “Unless-”

One of the people who had yet to go cut her off, “No, no, I think the prize should go to them.” 

Peter smiled. “Great work team!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Delia: That is definitly not Peter Parker  
> MJ: I agree  
> Clint: Mhm  
> Nat: I would be shocked if Peter Parker even existed  
> Pepper: I heard he's dead in a freak accident


	5. Well, this should be fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Avengers are children, I work through my sadness after watching Big Hero Six, MJ is a god, and the students are Scared™

The Avengers sat around their kitchen table doing what, if they were less amazing, would have been called scheming. As it was they were planning a tactical mission. 

“Okay, Peter has gotten on board so I’m going to text him what he can know.” Steve Rogers, Captain America, Nazi Puncher, and Icon said as he filled water balloons with glitter.

“Roger that, Captain.” Tony joked.

“For the last time Tony, stop it with the puns.” 

“I’m sorry I ameriCan’t” 

After a brief altercation that left both Steve and Tony looking embarrassed while Natasha glared at them, they were ready for business. After they finalized the last couple of details of course. 

“MJ knows what they have to do- and I’m confident that this plan is so simple even Clint can’t mess it up so let’s go.”

“NAT!”

“You went on a stealth mission to steal candy from the cabinet and you somehow sent out a presidential alert that told people you needed more.”

“Tony left the thing there and I thought Leader Alert meant you.”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”

“Yesterday you let me pick the movie because I said you were the best being in the multi-”

“Close your mouth or you will never get to pick the movie again.”

“Yeah Clint, maybe now we won’t cry every fifth night.”

“Tony. It was a children's movie.”

“Yeah, because you’re a child.”

“I’m sorry- who out of us cried at Big Hero Six?”

“WE BOTH DID YOU MOTHERFU-”

*******

Peter had a bad feeling. He was pretty sure that the elevator was supposed to have stopped four floors ago but they were going higher and higher. 

“Okay class.” Oh no. Delia was announcing something. As she said “I have a very special surprise for all of you!” Peter’s heart sank. Of course things had been going too smoothly. It was just too much to ask for _one_ normal field trip. 

Then his phone buzzed. He read the instructions.

The elevator doors opened with what would have been a pleasant ding if Peter wasn’t currently having his life flash before his eyes. Delia led the group down the hall and into a conference room. There they were, sitting in a half circle at the front of the room. The Avengers. 

“Welcome students from Midtown Tech,” Tony Stark, One of the greatest minds of the twenty-first century, philanthropist, billionaire who spends his fortune helping people, and Peter's dad, stood up to welcome the group. “You children are the future, the Avengers normally do not do interviews for such small groups but we decided to make an exception for you guys because you are from Midtown and it is likely you will end up here if not at a competitor. We have seven Avengers here all of whom will love to answer your questions.” He handed the mic off to Sam. 

“All humans in this room who aren’t part of the avengers will get to ask questions, you have about two hours before you have to get on your bus so make the most of it.”

MJ knew their lines. “Does the tour guide get to ask questions too?”

Clint grinned wickedly as Bucky said. “Of course! All thirty of you get to.” At that there was some clamoring. “Yes?”

“There are thirty one of us, Mr. White Wolf, sir.” Normally MJ would just have called him Bucky, but during this skit he was not their teacher but a fabled Avenger whom they had never interacted with.

Tony pulled out a device and looked at it. “No, I’m sure there are thirty humans in this room who aren’t on the team, and one non-human.”

Everyone turned to look at Peter. He ran. 

He ran out the door and down the hall, behind him he could hear the Avengers putting the plan into motion.

He went and got his supplies.

“Calm down, calm down.” Bruce Banner announced to the room of children gazing up at him. “The Boy can’t leave the tower so you should all be perfectly safe. Now who has a question?”

Every hand went up.

Rhodey pointed at a boy wearing a red shirt, “Yes?”

“What just happened? Why did Peter leave? Why did you say he wasn’t human? wHY-” 

“While you will probably have enough time to ask multiple questions we request that you only ask one at a time. What just happened was The Boy was hitchhiking on your field trip presumably to try to learn more about you, or maybe simply for fun. Next question, yes, you?”

They went through about another half an hour of questioning before someone asked the question everyone had been waiting for.

“What happened to the real Peter?” 

Clint sighed, “I don't know. Is anyone here friends with Peter?”

“Peter was going to be out at a doctors appointment for his leg for the first half of the day.” MJ said. “He’s probably at school right now.” 

“Wait.” That was Betty, “You’re telling me that that _Thing_ wasn’t Peter?”

Steve laughed, “We have been meaning to hunt him down- The Boy would be useful to have on our side.”

MJ knew their part, “Could we help hunt him?”

The Avengers seemed to deliberate among themselves, “No.” Tony said. Then the room went dark. Smoke gushed in through the vents, “Everyone- get down.” Bucky yelled.

When the smoke cleared they saw a table in the middle had been filled with weapons- water balloons and paint guns and the like. A sign said ‘Catch me if you can.’

There was silence until MJ spoke, “Guess you have no choice but to let us help hunt him.”

Everyone ran to grab weapons.

*******

*During the blackout*

All the Avengers hastily grabbed the weapons they had hidden on themselves for this purpose and put them on the folding table Peter had erected. They used the few moments they had to arrange the piles and get back to around where they were. Meanwhile Peter was setting up the sign and pressing notes into the hands of a few classmates. The notes said he wanted them on his team- now to watch what would happen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments mean I write faster and don't abandon this *wink wink* please tell me what you think- who will win? Is Peter actually a furry due to Spider-man? Is his planned vengeance on Clint for calling him Arachnid-boy fair? What do you think of the story?


	6. The war pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war has begun and every side believes they will win  
> Or, a bunch of students get to be Dramatic™

The hunt was on. The Avengers and a bunch of random children were about to go hunt a cryptid with glitter guns. All in all it was a pretty normal day for them.

This was not a normal day for any of the children, (I am exempting MJ because even I don't know what they get up to.) The group had split into three teams- each with nine kids and three Avengers. They would sweep the floors looking for The Boy. The teams _would_ have had ten kids each if not for the fact that some of them had run off to join The Boy.

Eight students had had notes pressed into their hands. The notes instructed them to meet in room AIDA and come unarmed. 

Peter was sitting on the ceiling of room AIDA when the first student entered. Flash Thompson jumped in surprise when The Boy- who he had to keep reminding himself as NOT Peter- Spoke. 

“I’m glad you came. We have weapons too and we will beat them.” 

Peter was dying from laughter on the inside. He had started speaking like a cryptic sage. He had gotten four of the people he invited and now they were arming up. The Avengers had weapons filled with red glitter, Peter’s had hot pink and were better. He knew he stood a chance. “Everyone know the plan?” He asked. His small army chorused back a wave of yes’s. “Then let’s go.” 

MJ, Clint, and Nat, were a team that should have never been made. Tony regretted letting Nat pick her team but honestly he wouldn't have stopped her. He was back in the “Control Center '' keeping watch of the teams. They were canvasing the floors above and below floor 5. A few students had given him notes pointing to the AIDA room so that's where he was sending strike force Greatest. He probably shouldn’t have let Nat name the teams either. With a sigh he checked in with Loser Team. 

Steve and Bucky had been leading their group of children to check out the AIDA room. They had taken every precaution so when Steve passed through the door he was expecting to see the shocked face of Peter. Instead he felt a net go to drop on him. On instinct he rolled out of the way only to realize the net would have been the better option. Covered head to toe in glitter Steve lay on the floor. As he turned to look up at the ceiling he saw the words, hastily written on a sign and taped to the ceiling. ‘How do you defeat Captain America?’ The sign proclaimed. ‘Dump him in glitter because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot’ read the paper below it. He looked to the side at the camera, blinking at him. And he knew. He knew that this footage of him, footage of him losing the last bit of hope he had left, would be played at every family event for the next fifty years. 

“Man down, repeat man down.” Tony ignored Barnes’ frantic yells as he looked at the battlefield. Peter’s team must have vacated room AIDA immediately after setting the traps. “Barnes, your team should comb this floor. Watch out for traps this time.” Ignoring Barnes’ protests that they did look out for traps Tony reconsidered his strategy.

Peter had himself and four others to take down a force of more than thirty but he was confident they could win. “Okay team. We need to set up traps for the teams coming at us. Flash, you’re good at architecture- build something. Abe- you're the best at minecraft in the school. You know how to set up traps. Cindy- You’re great at figuring out what people will do, where should we place the traps? Betty, you are weirdly good at not getting glitter everywhere, I need you to help. 

“How do you know those things about all of us?” Abe asked. Peter kicked himself, he had forgotten he didn’t know them. “I observed you on the tour.” Hopefully that would be enough.

The team got to work. 

Idiot squad was going through floor four when it happened. Zach had stepped into a hall and a glitter bomb flew at him. Sue cried out in alarm as Sam looked down the hall consideringly. “Anyone have something I can throw down this hall?” Immediately several students offered him what looked to be homework folders. “Thanks.” He said passing them to Thor. “Would you throw these down the hall?”

It was the most beautiful thing the students had seen. They watched in awe as their homework was destroyed in a burst of hot pink glitter. 

“The hallways are clearly not safe. We’ll need to be careful where we go.” 

Several more students offered their homework.

Peter’s team ran. They couldn't stay in the same spot for too long or they'd be found out, but they used their time well. Guerilla warfare had never been as easy to understand, Abe thought, as he helped Betty plant a bomb in a doorway. Then he heard a pop and felt something cold and wet on his side. He looked down to see his worst fear. The glitter stained the side of his jacket. “Betty.” He said, feeling his voice already start to fade. “Avenge me.” He lay down and stuck out his tongue. 

“NOOOOOOOOO.” Betty yelled. “Abe, my closest friend, I will avenge you.” She said as she closed his eyes. It was hard because he was ticklish but she managed. “I will do great things in honor of you.” Then she saw Sue coming towards her with what looked like a glitter dagger? and ran. 

“They saw me.” That was Betty. “They got Abe but I ran.” 

Peter sighed. “He was a child, too young to have been at war. He will live on in our hearts.” Flash and Cindy bowed their heads. “They will pay for what they did.” Peter declared. “Flash, build me a bomb big enough to take out an entire hallway.”

Tony set a reminder for himself to pay the janitor's more.


	7. The War Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short and took me so long. My family upped their surveillance on me and I have a huge writers block. Good news I have the next two chapters planned! (and they should be much longer than this one)

They had lost almost fifteen students. The Boy and his team were experts at what they did. It had gotten to the point where all the remaining kids had joined up into one team, even now some were talking about going and surrendering. 

MJ knew they couldn’t let that happen. 

“Alright, listen up.” They shouted. “I know things are looking grim right now but there are more of us then there are of them. We need to change our strategy. We already lost a team to the massacre of hallway 4eie, so we will change our strategy. We’ll travel in groups of no more than four. Always check to make sure a hallway is safe. Always assume you are under attack. They believe they can win. They are wrong. _We_ **will** win this.”

Peter’s team had been on the warpath after the death of Abe. They killed an entire squad of enemy combatants in retaliation with the hallway bomb. They were currently setting up a few more trappe hallways. Their team should win with only four more bombs going off- assuming each bomb got half a squad. 

“You can give up now you want.” Peter called over the loudspeaker. “Anyone who surrenders will be welcomed to our team.”

MJ shook their head at the squads that looked like they might go to him. “We  _ will  _ win. Stick to the plan.”

A bomb had gone off. Betty went to the hallway where it had happened, she was going to get an estimate of how many were left- what she didn’t expect was to be surrounded and held at gunpoint. 

“Tell us everything The Boy has planned.”

“If you kill me you’ll never know.” She said, this team looked to only have four people, were they all that as left? No. They had seen the dead- there were around sixteen kids left. The Boy had helped them take out all the Avengers early. From there it should have been smooth sailing but- “You guys changed your strategy.” She stated.

“We weren’t going to stick to what got us killed.” Charles explained. “Just tell us what you know and we won’t kill you.” 

“Rot in hell.” Betty heard a shot and felt it as she was shot in the chest. 

“Remember, it didn’t have to end like this.” Charles sighed as Betty lay on the floor with her arms crossed. “We wanted you alive.”

Now it was only Peter, Cindy, and Flash. “They seem to be moving in smaller teams so we will adjust our strategy accordingly” said Peter. “Shoot at anything that moves.

Tony sent the employees home early.


	8. The War, the final part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for abandoning this for so long, I kind of lost motivation for a while and didn't want to give you crappy chapters. I promise the final chapter is in the works as I speak!

MJ ran through the falls, quick, silent, shoot, move. They had gotten Cindy and they were pretty sure Flash had fallen into one of his own teams glitter bombs but Peter had retaliated quickly and brutally. Of the ten people who had been left on their team, they were the only one who remained. 

They were running low on ammo too, only enough left for around ten more shots. They could only try to survive until Peter poked his ugly head up.

Peter was confident in his abilities, he had picked off the rest of MJ’s team quickly and efficiently, he knew he had enough shots left to do some real damage. He could set up a trap if only he knew where they would be. He busied himself with looking through the security cameras, one slip up and MJ would be dead.

MJ would not slip up. They just needed to find Peter. He had to be somewhere he could view the security cameras because the one time they had stepped out of a blindspot he had known where they were. That had been a close call. They ran through the list of rooms he could be working from, preferably somewhere with multiple computers or screens and small enough to not look suspicious if the door was closed. It would probably also have a camera in front of it and a hallway with no blindspots. He might be good but they were better MJ thought to themselves. They had the list now, four possible places where Peter could be hiding. This has to be done  _ perfectly _ . 

Peter scanned through the cameras again, looking for MJ. They couldn’t hide forever. There were only thirty minutes left in the day. Thirty minutes for them to either shoot him or lose the game. He knew which would happen and it wasn’t a world where he lost.

Tony and the students munched on popcorn and candy in the big control room, watching General MJ and The Boy face off. Nat had planted some cameras The Boy couldn’t access all over the floor so that the kids could enjoy the show. At the very least they’d all learn something about combat. 

To be honest it kind of freaked Tony out how much they already knew about combat- high schoolers shouldn’t be able to hold their own in battles, even if the Avengers were going easy. Though the first part had been scripted down to Clint getting shot in the back of the head in a move that took him out and disqualified Sam the parts that involved just the kids had been, well, just the kids. He had already had Friday add half of them to his Watch List. 

They were at a standstill and they both knew it. Both Peter and MJ could hold their own for the remaining twenty minutes and they both knew it. MJ was down to five shots and Peter had no idea where they were. They both needed something big to happen, so it came as no surprise when Tony’s voice boomed over the loudspeakers. 

“I know that I have refrained from taking part in the combat until now but I am entering against The Boy. I will be in the auditorium on floor three. The dead students will be in the audience but they are not to be harmed unless you want to forfeit. Come and get me.”

Tony stood in the spotlight, mic and full stage makeup on. He was alone on the empty stage, watching the doors, when he heard a pop. 

Peter jumped down from the rafters where he had been balanced on the lighting rigs. He shot Tony again in the chest for good measure. He had done it. He had won the game with ten minutes to spare. He heard the audience gasp as he bowed. He had won.

The audience wasn’t gasping because they had just seen Tony start lose the game to The Boy. They were gasping because behind the boy MJ emerged from the shadows. 

MJ held their weapon in front of them and shot.

Peter’s spidey sense went off, a moment too late. Perhaps it was because MJ was his friend, or perhaps because he had been too wrapped up in the glory of winning, he didn’t move until it was too late. 

MJ shot The Boy five times in the back. The audience just sat, startled, as they heard MJ‘S voice echo around the room. (They had mic'd up) “This is for the real Peter.” MJ said, as The Boy brought his hands away from his back, sticky with glitter. “I win.”


	9. That's crazy!

The bus ride back to midtown was filled with chatter and children picking glitter out of each other's hair. MJ sat in the back, the other students had given them deferential treatment after their impressive display of military ability. 

MJ was pretty sure some of them were gawking. They took a picture and sent it to Peter with the caption “Just wait until I tell them you’re actually spider-man” a minute later Peter sent back “noooooooooooo pls MJ im begging you”, MJ typed out a quick “then beg” before turning their phone off. 

They looked out the window for something to sketch and smiled slightly as they saw a red and blue figure swinging through the city. 

Peter wasn’t worried about getting back to school before the bus got there, rush hour traffic was a bitch and he could swing faster than the bus anyway, so he stayed at the tower for a while and grabbed a change of clothes before putting on his suit and swinging over the city. 

He took in the skyline as he swung, enjoying the feeling of the wind around him and the feeling of falling and being caught. Being Spider-man meant he was free but, with a sigh, he swung down onto a rooftop near Midtown to change. 

The bus pulled up to Midtown and the students disembarked, there was only half an hour left in the school day and the teachers weren’t there so the kids were standing around chatting when MJ spoke. “We should go tell Peter what happened.” Being bored sixteen year olds the rest of the students readily agreed, who wouldn’t want to tell their classmate a story like that after all. 

“Peter, you’ll never believe the day we had.” Everyone was clamoring over each other to talk to Peter, who they’d found sitting in the library (as he had been all day) reading a paper by Tony Stark on ‘Building Robots Really Quickly’ 

“Hmm?” Peter asked, seeming to tear his eyes away from the page. “Oh right, the Field Trip! I’m sad to have missed it- what happened?”

And so, after a few minutes, the kids began to tell the story.

“Sooooooo, we got there and it was kind of normal, right? Then Delia the tour guide was telling us about The Boy-”

“The boy?” 

“No, The Boy, he's like the cryptid of Stark Tower.”

“They have their own cryptid? That's crazy.”

“Yeah so then we went and listened to the lawyers,”

“ _ You _ listened to the lawyers Cindy, I went and told the tour guide Peter didn’t work for Stark Industries.”

“Why did you have to tell Delia that?” Peter was really enjoying this now, “I wasn’t even on the trip

“But you were! And you had a badge! But then you jumped like  _ eight feet  _ and  **_hawkeye fell out of the ceiling_ ** .” 

“We got to ask him questions too!”

“Yeah! He told us more about The Boy! He’s summoned when you say his name and make offerings and he helps lab students with their problems!” 

“And then we went to lunch and  _ Natasha Freaking Romanoff  _ was there! And  _ Pepper Potts the coolest CEO alive _ ! And  _ they walked right over to our table _ ”

“Okay, stop fanboying Abe. Then they looked at you and said ‘He does look like the boy’ and I was like  _ what now _ and they left. Then we went to the labs and we got to build robots in a competition and you, Ned, MJ, and Flash won.”

“But, I wasn’t there?”

“Yeah, we figured that out too! It turned out that what we thought was you was actually The Boy. We found out because Tony Stark-”

“ **You met** **_Tony Stark_ ** ?!”

“Yeah, we met all the Avengers and got to ask them questions! They said they wanted The Boy on their team but couldn’t get him and we asked if we could help and they said no.”

“That seems fair, they are The Avengers after all.”

“No, no, then the room went dark and when it stopped being dark there were all these weapons on the table and a sign that said ‘catch me if you can’.”

“Real weapons? That’s not safe.”

“They used glitter! So then we split up into teams and went searching for him. Then Mr. America got taken out by a glitter bomb.”

“I want to tell this now, I was on The Boy’s team.”

“Fine, Betty.”

“So then The Boy knew all this stuff about us even though we hadn’t told him. We set up all these traps and took out all the Avengers!”

“The Falcon helped us destroy our homework!”

“Yeah and then I got killed.”

“I promised to avenge you,  _ Abe _ .”

“Well you didn’t did you,  _ Betty _ .”

“Their team made a bomb that took out a whole team as revenge. It was fun because we got to fake our deaths dramatically, very cathartic.”

“Then The Boy said anyone who surrendered would be welcomed to his team but General MJ told us to stand strong.”

“General?”

“It was a battlefield promotion.”

“Then I was held at gunpoint for information, when I refused they killed me.”

“Well if you just  _ told us _ you would still be alive.” 

“Then most people were dead except MJ and The Boy. We were watching from secret cameras and got to eat candy. It was at a standstill though until Tony Stark himself entered the war.”

“He wasn’t part of it before?” 

“No. Sorry, Abe must have forgotten that part.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, anyways he was up on stage and then The Boy killed him from the ceiling and was bowing to the audience because he thought he killed the last person but he didn’t notice MJ sneaking up behind him.”

“I can tell this part. I was behind him and I knew I had to do it quickly. Five shots to his back. As he died I told him that I did it for the real Peter.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet.”

“I‘ve killed before and I’ll do it again.”

“No one actually died though? Right?”

“Yeah, I didn’t actually kill anyone today.”

“ _ Today _ ?! _ ” _

“And then we came back here.”

“Wow. I can’t believe I missed that, are you guys sure you aren’t messing with me?”

“It really happened.”

“Sure Jan.” Peter got up from his chair and hefted his stack of papers. “I need to return these, it’s almost time to go home.” 

As he walked away Flash swore he saw some glitter fall from his hair onto the ground. Must be a trick of the light he told himself.

That night the Avengers, MJ, Ned, and Shuri all sat around the table in the penthouse laughing uproariously. “Remind me to do this again sometime.” Tony said, ladling a steaming pile of rice onto his plate.

“I will not be participating in this again.” Peter shot back at his dad, stealing some of the rice. 

MJ plotted their next move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this has been a real ride. I remember writing the first words of the story before this- it was so much darker. I remember beginning writing this and being so happy to be writing something so fun. While I've been writing this it's felt at times like words are just spilling out onto the page. Other times I've stared at a page before abandoning it for weeks (sorry guys) Thank you to everyone who stuck with me and everyone who just found this. I hope you have a good day.  
> This wouldn't have been possible without Sanctuaria who encouraged me back into writing and I always see commenting kind things on works.  
> I probably won't write another story in this universe, at least not about Peter in the same way, but it has been an honor and a joy to create this universe. Thank you all.  
> if you want more of me i’m genderfluid-and-confuzled on tumblr

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please, please, comment and kudos- a minute of your day makes my week.


End file.
